dissonance

It's all like whatever - Bread salad

I haven't done a food post in ages but now that summer's here I thought I'd share this super easy recipe that's perfect for warm evenings. It's a bit of chopping in the beginning but then it's all like whatever for the rest of it.

 

Bread salad with Roasted vegetables

Ingredients:

- A stale baguette (I roughly tore it to thirds and left it on top of the bread bin for like two days.)
- Vegetables: Go with any veggies that roast well.  Suggestions - bell peppers (anything but green) red onions, yellow onions, zucchini or other squash, asparagus, even a bit of finely minced chili pepper will be good.  Amounts depend on how many people you feed.  I ended up with about 4 full cups of chopped veg and the two of us ate like pigs.
- A couple cloves of garlic minced
- Cubed pancetta
- Italian parsley ("flat leafed")
- Some balsamic vinegar
- Some red wine vinegar (optional)
- Some olive oil
- Salt and pepper

Method:

1. Turn on the grill in your oven. Move the rack to the top or as near as possible where you can fit a roasting pan underneath it.
2. Roughly tear up your bread into bit sized pieces.
3. Put the bread pieces into the roasting pan and put under the grill.  You want to toast them. Let them get light brown and then mix them around so they get evenly browned.
4. Transfer the toasted pieces to a bowl. It's ok if there's crumbs left in the roasting pan, yum!
5. Chop up all your veg to about 1-2 inch pieces, basically bite sized.
6. Throw the veg, pancetta, and minced garlic into the roasting pan and lightly coat with with olive oil. Drizzle half as much balsamic vinegar (you can add more later).  Salt and Pepper.  Mix around with your hands and pop it under the grill.
7. Let the veggies well, roast.  You might want to pull it out occasionally to mix the veg around so that it cooks evenly.  You want them to get browned but not burned.  Obviously.
8. Take the roasting pan out of the oven and add the reserved bread pieces.
9. Add chopped parsley and mix it all about.  Add some drops of red wine vinegar if you got it.
10. Enjoy while basking in the evening sun.

Optional variations:
- Tablespoon or so of capers will add a tangy kick, add them to the roasting veg for the last 2 mins
- Grated parmesan on top right before serving is always welcome
- Also great as a side with creamy soup, like carrot or tomato

Haggis, neeps and tatties

Robert "Rabbie" Burns is a national hero of Scotland.  Pretty good for a liberal, womanizing, poet.  His life and work is lovingly celebrated every year around the time of his birthday and the event is called a Burns supper.  Craig and I hosted our first supper this weekend.

Thistles provided a backdrop.  (Thistles being the national flower of Scotland)

Haggis made its debut.

There was some poetry reading.

And wishbone breaking.

And some PS3 playing.

I think a good time was had by all :)

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

This bread is bananas, literally.

And it is da shit, figuratively.

If you have basic baking ingredients and a few ripe bananas, I highly recommend giving this banana bread recipe a whirl.  No mixer needed! 

And then serve with butter. Or Nutella. Or butter AND Nutella.  And then you can call that mixture "Buttella".  Or "Nuter".  Or maybe you call it butter and Nutella because "Buttella" and "Nuter" both sound unappetizing and slightly obscene.

Porks and apples were harmed in this post

I won! I won!

Iron Chef night was a lot of fun!  I can't believe how much good food there was. Here are the dishes I remember (please forgive me if I forgot yours)

• Pork-burgers with some sort of spicy creamy sauce
• Pork stuffed cucumbers
• Pork with green bell peppers and bamboo
• Pork meatballish sort of thing with mushrooms
• Pork eggrolls
• Pork lumpia with shrimp
• Pork lettuce wraps
• Ginger and bokchoy noodle soup with pork meatballs
• Mabo tofu (from scratch!)
• Grapefruit stuffed with ground pork
• And my entry that won for presentation and overall (wowsers!!) Pork wontons with Apple chutney.

(not all entries shown)

I can't wait til next month's challenge!  As the winner I get to pick the ingredient for next time, aieeeeee.... the pressure is ON!

Knitting has competition

Ahhh, polenta, what a beautiful adventure we've been on.  You were delicious and reliable all the way to the end.

I think this is my most favorite slapped together dish yet.

Polenta details:
I cut up the leftover ready made polenta and then heated it up with milk.  A masher helped make it creamy.  I added black pepper for seasoning, but the secret ingredient?  Finely grated romano cheese, which I mixed in using a whisk, right before spooning it onto the dish. Yum!

Topping details:
Sliced red onion, crimini onions and canned chicken all sauteed in olive oil, worcestire sauce and a dash of Italian seasoning.

The grape tomatoes are delish!  Get thee to the supermarket!  The basil was just for decoration, but actually the aroma was a perfect background while I ate this for dinner.

Fancy shmancy in a tube

Hmmm those yellow things look like pineapples, but it's not. It's polenta!

While I was browsing the pasta aisle, I was intrigued by some ready-made polenta in a tube.  You read right: In A Tube! 

I've never had polenta but it just sounded so cool I had to get it when I saw it while grocery shopping.  And since it's ready made it's a no brainer to use.  They also had rectangle shaped ready made polenta but I got the one in a tube because dude, it's in a tube!

Ingredients:
- Polenta-inna-tube (I found mine at Ralph's in the pasta aisle by the "weird" pasta, i.e. wheat pasta)
- Marinara sauce
- Some sort of grated cheese
- Chicken breast
- Herbs that you like to use with chicken breast

Directions:
1) Grill a chicken breast smothered in herbs (I used thyme, dried basil, dried oregano and olive oil and grilled it on the Foreman)
2) While the chicken is going slice up some polenta and fry it on a pan in a little olive oil.
3) While the polenta is frying heat up some marinara sauce. 
4) Arrange polenta on a plate, pour marinara sauce over it.
3) Sprinkle some grated cheese (I used romano).
4) By now, the chicken is almost done.  When it's fully cooked, slice it up and arrange on plate.

The polenta was so yummy I cut up a few more slices for tomorrow's lunch:

I just made sandwich-like thingees with basil leaves and leftover grated cheese, then fried it for a bit back on the pan.

Polenta be awesome.  I'm excited to try more dishes with it.  It's like creamy and filling and has a mild taste so I think it would go with a lot of things.

Lazy cooking rules

The cooking obsession continues!

I refuse to make dishes that require a lot of work and thinking.  I'm too scatter brained, which is not a good thing in the kitchen (and is probably why you'll never see me baking anything).  So I try and take advantage of pre-made spices and ingredients.

This dish doesn't have a name.  I made it to use up the wilting greens in the fridge and to use up the remainder of this little find at Ralph's...

... which is about as exotic Ralph's gets.  I used half a pouch on some boneless pork chops, but I have to admit, I wasn't impressed.  But with the greens and shrimp it was yummers!

Ingredients:
Handful of de-frozen, pre-cooked, pre-tailed shrimp from Trader Joe's (can you tell how much I love this stuff?)
Handful of baby spinach
Two zucchinis cut up
Half a packet of Spicy Thai Peanut Bake
Cayenne pepper (I'm very focused on cayenne pepper these days)
Chopped garlic ("There are other flavors besides garlic, Monica.")
Olive oil

Directions:

1. Heat up a skillet with some olive oil.  Toss in some garlic and let that baby sizzle.
2. Add zucchini, flavor with cayenne pepper.  This is optional cause the Thai Peanut bake is also kinda spicy.  But I love spicy so thus the addition of the cayenne pepper.  I think I might have added some black pepper too.
3. While that's going, toss shrimp around with the Peanut bake thingee in a bowl.
4. When the zucchini is kinda browned up, add the shrimp.
5. Add the spinach.
6. Taste a zucchini.  If necessary, add more garlic, pepper, cayenne pepper, salt, or whatever is closest at hand.
7. Serve when the zucchini is cooked and the spinach is all wilty.

I think this would be really good on some rice.  I just ate it as is and felt very healthy. Until I ate half a pint of the Blueberry Cheescake Hagan Daaz or however you spell it.  NO REGRETS!

No actual monkeys were harmed in this post

I don't think I have an addictive/obsessive personality.  I admit, once an interesting idea grabs hold of me, I latch on for a bit while I figure out the how's, why's and where-to-for's of it.  But when my curiosity becomes satiated my efforts are quickly abandoned.

This is what I suspect of my recent focus on food.  So enjoy the food posts while they last. I'm sorry if my recipes are crap, I'm not a food blogger. Hopefully it's enough info to re-create them for your own palate.  I'm NOT a cook, so everything I show is easy enough for a monkey with one arm to make.  (Ok some chopping is involved so maybe a monkey with one leg)

Inspired by Toast-Point's Shrimp Toast, I made my own variation because I don't have fish or peanut sauce and I'm not sure I know what chutney is.

Ingredients:
Pre-cooked, pre-tailed frozen shrimp(I got mine from Trader Joe's)
Roma tomatos
Cilantro
Mint
Pre-minced garlic (I owe Cindy an entire bottle of this stuff)
Olive oil
Butter
Cayenne pepper
Pepper
French bread

Directions:

1. Heat up some olive oil and butter in a pan. When the butter foams, throw in some garlic.  When the garlic sizzles, pour the mess over some slices of french bread and pop it in the toaster oven.  Don't turn it on yet.
2. Pick out the least droopy bits of cilantro and mint (I had to do a lot of picking as this was the tail end of my supply) and chop them up together.  I like putting them in a cup and using scissors because I am lazy and have dull knives.
3. Chop up the tomatos and shrimp all crazy like.
4. Throw all these chopped up things back in the garlic/olive oil/butter pan.  Throw in some more garlic for good measure.  Sprinkle a healthy dose of Cayenne pepper and regular black pepper.
5. Shit! Turn on the toaster.
6. When the bread is toasted, pour the yummy mess in the pan over the bread.
7. Eat while watching The Two Towers.  AGAIN.

Notes:  I know, there are no measurements.  Whatever man, I'm not a cook.  Use as much or as little of everything as you like.  Also, I used a toaster oven. You may not own a toaster oven, in which case you can use the oven but I don't know what temperature.  You should really get a toaster oven, they are awesome.

Small Percentage of Actual Meat

I love SPAM.  It reminds me of my childhood.  If we had nothing else to eat, there was always fried Spam with rice and kimchee.  Oooh, I drool just thinking about it.

GMail now has this nifty RSS feed going across the top of my message list that displays randomness throughout the day.  I subscribed to some recipe sites and just this afternoon, there's some sort of Spam-fest going on.  Anyway, these sound lovely to me and I thought I'd share for any others who harbor a secret liking to that wonderfully sodium and fat clogged concoction.

French Fry Spam Casserole:  Sounds like a great Carne Asada Fries alternative, and just as healthy!  The crushed cornflakes just add a touch of class, don't you think?
Spam Fajitas: Because chicken breast is not cheap.
Savory Spam Crescents: No really, this sounds good.  Use cubed ham if you're going to be a snob about it.
Spam Skillet Casserole: This recipe uses Thyme.  THYME!  You know it's legit.

Turkey and stuffing and pie, Oh my!

Thanksgiving day dinner went off without a hitch!    I was so busy with the food I completely forgot to take pictures - booooo.  But a few things I've learned:

• Turkey on the bbq grill - Good idea. Turned out fabulously juicy and browned to perfection as well as freeing up the stove and oven.
• No matter how disgusting turkey innards are I have to save them or else I have to resort to chicken bouillion gravy.  It turned out all right, but it's just not the same.
• I personally liked the stuffing from the crockpot best. Although admittadly mushy compared to stuffing in the turkey.  Stuffing from the oven is still TBA as it is currently combined with mashed potatoes and sweet potato casserole in a Post-Thanksgiving Layered Leftover Carbo Combo Pie (Thanks for the idea, Kris!).
• Snappy green beans with bacon was a hit, just a spoonful of leftovers and that's only because people are too polite to take the last bite.  The moral being: Add bacon for instant pizazz.
• Help is vital - I thought I'd have time to shower in between making the stuffing and casserole but if my mom wasn't around I'd probably have ended up stinky and in sweatpants at dinner.

Durhh, I'm kicking myself again for not taking pictures.

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I also saw Walk the Line this weekend. I recommend it.  I am hearting Joaquin Phoenix and I have fully forgiven him for being a creepy incestuous creep in Gladiator.  Reese Witherspoon was also a joy to watch, but I may be biased as I am a proud owner of the Legally Blonde dvd.