dissonance

Strong language ahead

One of the great things about living in the UK is learning their colorful (colourful) language.  A particularly fun aspect is of course, swearing and the fine art of the British Insult.

Fuck and shit are used pretty commonly (obviously not in polite society :P) and you'll often hear it on tv after about 9 pm.

Mother effer and sonofabitch are almost never used, and when you do hear it, it's probably because they're making fun of Americans.  Same with douchebag.

The C word is used a lot more here than in the states and I'm still coming to grips with that one.  I'm not quite up to speed at when it's ok to use it affectionately about your mate, versus someone who cut you off on the motorway.  If the person wants to communicate the same essence of the C word, but not as harsh, they'll use the disturbingly cute sounding "twat".

Then there's asshole.  Another one used to usually make fun of an American. Unless you hear someone say arsehole, when you're probably talking to my Irish friend Pete.

I like the insult of calling someone a tit, but I have to admit I can't pull it off as it sounds much better with a Scottish accent.

Wank is a good insult.  It's a nice alternative to calling someone a dick and I think America should adopt its use right away.

Bastard is pretty weak but your wit will be rewarded with admiration all around if you can spice it up with key adjectives describing your opponent ie "Saggy pants bastard"

Then we come to muppet.  Yeah, muppet.  I'm not sure when it's appropriate to call someone a muppet but I think it's like the daytime television appropriate version of the C word, which is pretty harsh for something that's usually associated with Sesame Street.

On the flip side, I have been slowly attempting to inject "What the shit" and "fucktard" into the British culture.  So far nae luck, but I have a feeling I'll hear them on Big Brother next season and I shall be vindicated.

Happy Thanksgiving!

From the work bulletin board

I'm so lazy, now I'm letting other people write my blog posts.

=====

For Sale 

red car 

It has come to that time when my car will fail it's MOT (December 10th). So for all you Ford Orion enthusiasts this is a great opportunity. All offers considered.

Disadvantages:
* The clutch slips
* So do the brakes
* The heating is more a suggestion of warmth. It reaches it's full affect after 40 or so miles. It's not "cold" exactly. And you can heat the tips of your left hand fingers on the electric window buttons (if you have the car lights on).
* Apparently some welding is needed somewhere to get it past the MOT. I think the garage's quote of about £800 is pessimistic though.
* I would change all the brake pads and discs. And all the wheel bearings.
* The car was cleverly broken into one night. The burglar sat in the seat eating chocolates but otherwise left the car as it was. The sweets were quality street judging from the wrappers (and the two uneaten ones on the floor, which may still be there) left behind. But the driver's lock is no longer reliable. I had to call out the AA shortly after because the car would not start. The man said that car-disabler was disabling it as a result of the "clever" system detecting something nasty in the circuit. Using the passenger lock he reset it. Simple, but embarrassing. Fortunately I had had the alarm disconnected shortly after buying the car as it kept going off outside the house and disturbing the neighbours, otherwise that would have been embarrassing too.
* The front windscreen wipers aren't very good at wiping
* No rear windscreen wipers
* Inside front windscreen blower has neither very much blow nor sense of direction
* Not very clean outside
* Not very clean inside
* Probably flat spare tyre (but the tyre changing tools which come with it are pristine as I discovered for the first time on the M42 after a policeman had kindly asked me to change the, only slightly flat, rear driver's)
* Many more

Advantages:
* It's red
* It always starts
* Soft, almost comfy, seats
* Radio with cassette (no disastrous digital CD) player (but lacking knob for on/off/volume)
* Boot
* 4 doors
* Sunroof which doesn't leak
* Automatic windows with heated up/down buttons
* Heated rear window
* Manual steering (the car almost drives itself -- no clinging onto the wheel for dear life to keep it in a straight line; and it gives you exercise when parking)
* The indicators do not self-cancel after you've gone round the corner -- though they used to -- (so you won't be troubled by it stopping indicating half way round something)
* Ash tray (with ash)
* Cigar lighter (with cigars)
* No side impact protection (makes doors light and easy to open & close)

Comes with free toaster (3rd hand).

Best offer by Thursday gets the car. Otherwise it's off to the scrap for ~£5.

They're taking over

I look goooood with a perm!

When I first moved to England, little did I know how much my life would change.  I don't mean just my address, or how I pronounce certain words, but how I would change.

So often we fight against personal change.  We're so quick to become defensive if someone says, "You've changed", trying to convince them that no we haven't, we'll never change, we're true to our roots, dude.  But change is inevitable.  Our next actions are shaped by our past experiences. Our outlook on life is irrevocably forged by events that touch us.

And so I admit I've changed.  I think I can almost pinpoint the moment I changed because it was almost a year ago (a year on the 27th) that Craig went on our first date.  It was a "typical" date but the ordinariness of it all makes it extraordinary when I think about the impact he's had on my life.

I've gained such happy memories and there's so much to look forward to.  Here's to one year and counting.

Pics from our anniversary evening: